Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Response to sibling domestic abuse

The following post is a response to a facebook post. This post is too long for a post on Facebook.  The original post is here. 

Hey everyone many of you know by know that my brother has been stalking me for decades, and I have done a combination of running, fighting, and involving the police or courts. Someone of you know that I an trying to start a program because my mother's claims of my brother's insane jealousy no longer fit that pattern. He is engaging in sibling domestic violence. His goal is to denigrate me. That is the focused goal of sibling domestic violence: to denigrate the other sibling. The shared post is an example of an accusatory statement from my brother. I can no longer do nothing. Something was done, with his involvement that caused so much psychological harm, I have new meds to add to my old one. I am 50 with new meds. Hurray. With me luck in this everyone
Below I will answer the ones that have content. All statements that are logical fallacies will be deleted in my response.
So strange that he used to decry me to others as a devil worshipper, and yet there he is on YouTube, burning a bible and trying to sound all tough & sinister.
John-This is all true. I was a Jehovah's Witness at
one time and did think his Wicca was Satanic. What
he does not tell you is I left that religion and did
practice solitary and group Wicca for a while. Not my
style either
I still recall... [ad hominem fallacy] anonymous pieces of mail calling himself "The Iron Monkey,"
John-The fact is we were kids, and it was a prank
written to Andy Frizzle because he was experimenting
with the martial art of Ninjusu). Your response is what not
what you claim
I recall that back when I was in 1st grade and he was in the 2nd how he'd go out of his way to pick on me because I was so much smaller than the other kids my age...[ad hominem fallacy]
(I know we got into fights, but I don't remember what
you are talking about. I do remember you in up in the
same class with me for 2nd and 3rd graders. I
remember you and another student being so unruly
you made that you made our new teacher Miss Moore cry)

Sibling Domestic Violence

   

My brother Jason
I am a domestic violence survivor! Domestic violence follows life's great apathy. I have experienced it. Domestic Violence does not choose. Sibling domestic violence includes: 
  1. Male-male domestic violence
  2. Male-female domestic violence
  3. Female-female domestic violence
  4. Female-male domestic violence
  5. Parent-child domestic violence
  6. Child-parent domestic violence
  7. Sibling-sibling domestic violence
     Sibling domestic violence exists. Sibling domestic violence is underrated, yet most likely the most common form of domestic violence. Sibling domestic violence is also controversial. From my readings, the question of when does sibling rivalry becomes sibling domestic violence becomes paramount. Maybe it was never sibling rivalry, but domestic violence. 
     In general sibling domestic abuse is not about relational rivalry, but relational aggression. Specifically, Sibling domestic violence is distinguished from sibling rivalry by the following characteristics. First, the characteristics that I clearly experienced from my brother:
  1. One child always avoids the other sibling.
  2. Roles are rigid. One child is always the aggressor; one aways the victim
  3. The roughness and violence has increased over time
  4. Attempts to "frame" the other sibling
The other characteristics I cannot clearly define in myself, but are nevertheless characteristics:
  1. Changes in behavior, routines, and patterns
  2. Child acts out abuse in play
  3. Child acts out sexually in inappropriately ways.
  4. Sexual assault by the abusive sibling
     My brother, Jason committed domestic violence against  my mother and I. In my mother case I believe Jason's response was reactive abuse. He was reacting to all the abuse in the family. Nevertheless it was abuse. In my case, my mother seems to have favored me over Jason. This may have been the root of Jason sibling domestic abuse that he started in our pre-teen years. I am now 50. It is getting worse
     Jason has involved my half sister Ava School Board Candidate Anna Gamboa, and the abusive step mother, VFW Post 5993 Auxiliary President Robin Reinartz who attempted top lead me into her backyard to harm me. It is not safe being in their house and I fear for my niece and nephew.
     All of these life events with Jason have led me to create a program to help people whose sibling abusers in adulthood constantly skirt the law while abusing a sibling. The law has failed. It is time to find proactive rather than reactive  ways of ending sibling domestic violence. Those experiencing sibling abuse currently must fight back. Join the campaign to end sibling domestic violence. If you think you might be the recipient of sibling domestic violence call the National Domestic Violence Hotline now!